40 Things I Cannot Do

Since I recently turned 40, I started thinking about some things that I can't do. Here's a list of some of those things:

1. Climb a tree
2. Parallel park
3. Speak French
4. Say no to chocolate
5. Jog
6. Cook a turkey
7. Keep my car clean
8. Make coffee
9. Braid my hair
10. Apply make-up (especially lipstick)
11. Read a map
12. Ride in the backseat
13. Color my own hair
14. Paint my own toenails
15. Take the subway (it smells like urine)
16. Perform surgery
17. Change a flat tire
18. Speak Italian
19. Write with my right hand
20. Drive a standard
21. Make meatballs
22. Use a lawnmower
23. Wear a bikini
24. Dodge a bullet
25. Play guitar
26. Waterski
27. Skydive
28. Go through a revolving door alone
29. Play poker
30. PowerPoint
31. Write neatly
32. Drink alcohol
33. Pivot tables in Excel
34. Resist mashed potatoes
35. Trigonometry
36. Watch horror movies
37. Use margarine
38. Cut my own cheeseburger
39. Ride a motorcycle
40. Make serious lists

I'm sure there are a million other things I can't do, but I'll stick with these 40 for now.