"Wanna hear a funny story?"

Has anyone ever said that to you?

 Next time you hear this:

"Wanna hear a funny story?"

Respond with one of these:

• Nope.
• No thanks. I heard one yesterday.
• No thanks. I don't like to laugh.
• Is it really funny or just a little bit funny? One a scale of 1 to 10? How funny are we talking?
• Yes, but if I don't find it funny do I still have to laugh? 

So there you go. Never, ever start a story with "Wanna hear a funny story?" It just sets the expectations way too high.