10 Things You Won't Hear Charles Manson's New Wife Say

You've probably heard by now that the murderer (good old Chuck) is getting married. In case you didn't know, he's 80. His bride is 26. They'll make a lovely couple, I'm sure.

Here are 10 things that she'll never have to say:

1. Back off, ladies. He's mine
2. Did you remember to pay the water bill?
3. Honey, what should we have for dinner? 
4. Should we go to Cabo for our first anniversary?
5. I'm having a hard time finishing all of these wedding thank you's. 
6. Move over! You're hogging all the covers! 
7. Where should we spend the holidays this year? 
8. You left the toilet seat up again! 
9. I have the best looking husband. 
10. Can you pick up a pizza on your way home? 

There you have it. She's one lucky gal. Actually, I think they're lucky to have found each other. Murderous psychopaths: they're just like the rest of us. 

Special thanks to my friend, Melisa, for helping me compile this list.