What happened to our beautiful boy? The one with the all American look that we all loved.
How did he go from this:
What happened to our Tommy?
Now, I'm not much of a football fan. I have no idea how the game is played. If someone offered me seats on the 250-yard-line (or wherever the good seats are), I would politely decline. I'd rather be at the mall.
Back to Tommy. If I were his mother, I would march into that fancy brownstone of his, drag him out of bed, pull him by the hair and drag him to the barber shop. Okay, maybe I'd drag him to a fancy hair salon on Newbury Street. I'd also have them shave that thing off his face.
You know who's behind this horrendous new look, don't you? That skinny, manish wife of his. Sure, she's a supermodel, that doesn't hide that fact that she has man-face. I'm just sayin'.
I'm thinking of starting a letter writing campaign entitled "Bring Our Beautiful Tommy Back".
Who's with me?!