Friday, September 23, 2011

You'll be hearing from my lawyer

Dear Fossils,

At approximately 2:00 PM today I was leaving your home. I came over to visit and check on you, my elderly parents. As I was walking down the walkway, I slipped and fell. I landed in a split-type position and I looked ridiculous. I also have several boo-boos. I believe the fall was related to the two leaves that were left in said walkway. Combine that with the wet weather and it was just an accident waiting to happen. It was in no way a result of my new, slippery shoes.

I've contacted the law firm Dewey, Screwum and Howe and you will be receiving a letter from them shortly.

Since the fall occurred on your property I think that it's only fair that you pay all medical expenses pertaining to the fall. This means Band-aids, Neosporin and a box of tissues for my tears.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter. Hopefully we can settle out of court.

Yours very truly,
Your youngest daughter and favorite child.

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