Monday, September 20, 2010

Burning Questions

As I stood watching the ocean today I recalled some questions that I've pondered for a long, long time. Any insight you may have would be greatly appreciated.

1. Why do men spit?
2. When did Tom Cruise lose his mind?
3. Why are cats so aloof?
4. Why are teenage boys so smelly?
5. Why are stirrup pants back in style?
6. Why do my parents love me best?
7. Why do babies sleep with their bum in the air?
8. Why do ugly people insist on mating?
9. How can birds poop in mid-flight?
10. Why does my heart rate increase when I find a really good deal?
11. Are American Apparel stores supposed to be a joke?
12. Who invented tampons and what was that conversation like?
13. If you're in jail and it's your birthday do the other inmates sing Happy Birthday? Do you get a cake?
14. Why can we, as women, talk about our hair for hours?
15. Why won't George Clooney return my calls?
16. Why does Renee Zellweger always look like she just sucked on a lemon?

I really need a hobby.


  1. I'll answer #6 - Mom and Daddy love me best - they told me to keep it a secret. They pretend to love you best, because you live the closest and they know you're going to be the one to care for them in their old age.

  2. Too funny! I'm afraid I don't have any answers, but I do agree with some of these questions. Tom Cruise definitely did lose his mind. I wish I knew why.
    My husband says cats are unreliable pets. They don't love, they don't bond and they will leave you when a better deal comes along. I think he knows this from experience. He says he hates cats but I think he really is grieving from a bad childhood pet incident. We're a dog family now.

  3. In 1931 Doctor Earle Haas filed for his first tampon patent. The Ancient Egyptians invented the 1st tampon from papyrus. The Greeks made ones from lint wrapped around a small piece of wood. I am glad to help out!

  4. you are crazy! Thanks for the entertainment!

  5. This is pure insanity, spun into fabric and wrapped around my shoulders like a blanket until, oops, it fell off my shoulders and landed in a puddle of spilt chocolate milk from last night.

    I am both intrigued and inspired, wondering how Kim has made me ponder tampons, American Apparel, George Clooney and stirrup pants - all within the same fifteen second timespan. Praise be to the interwebs.

  6. Ugh. I said Kim. I meant Laura. Sorry. Brain fried from thoughts of inmates and cupcakes.